Sex Addiction

The definition of a healthy sex life can vary with every couple. Crossing the line to sex addiction involves behaviors and thoughts that are out of your control. The PATHOS test was created to help define sex addiction.

1. Do you often find yourself preoccupied with sexual thoughts? (Preoccupied)
2. Do you hide some of your sexual behavior from others? (Ashamed)
3. Have you ever sought help for sexual behavior you did not like? (Treatment)
4. Has anyone been hurt emotionally because of your sexual behavior? (Hurt)
5. Do you feel controlled by your sexual desire? (Out of control)
6. When you have sex, do you feel depressed afterwards? (Sad)

If you answer yes to two or more of these, let’s talk! about your results. I can show you the path to healing and help you in your journey to full recovery.

Sex addiction is a process addiction or behavioral addiction, meaning that sex or sexual acts becomes the “drug” of choice for an addict. Sex addiction means an individual uses sexual stimulation as the primary way to manage his/her painful emotions. This can take many forms, including pornography, compulsive masturbation, infidelity, exhibitionism, obsessive fantasies, paying for sex acts or voyeurism.

Increased internet availability has resulted in an increase in out-of-control sexual behavior (Hentsch-Cowles & Brock, 2013). With sexual content constantly available, this “drug” can be free, always accessible, and an easy escape for an addict. Although the “drug” in sex addiction is sex, sex addiction is not about sex. It is about emotional mismanagement. It occurs when an individual uses sex to minimize pain and painful emotions or augment pleasure.

Generally, a mix of genetics and traumatic experiences underlie sex addiction. When an individual with a sex addiction feels a difficult emotion, and he/she does not have healthy ways of coping with that emotion, the individual will often turn to sex. He/she will feel a “high” with sexual release, which is very short-lived, and only helps the individual “escape” temporarily. Then the individual often feels guilt and shame or other difficult emotions and that can start the whole process over. The individual becomes caught in the the squirrel-cage of addiction.

Sex addiction, like any other type of addiction, hijacks the reward pathways in the brain and damages brain circuits. It makes addicts’ lives become out of control and unmanageable. Sex addiction harms the addict’s ability to make choices and the addict’s ability to maintain loving relationships. The prefrontal cortex can shrink over time with sex addiction.

Risk factors for sex addiction include genetics, brain biology and chemistry, environment, and life events such as trauma, loss of a loved one, a difficult relationship, an early childhood experience, or any stressful situation. Sex addiction can happen at any age, but often begins in early adolescence. Sex addiction is more common among males, but females can struggle with sex addiction too.

Sex addiction impacts how individuals views themselves, interact with others, and shapes how they cope in life. Because trauma is a major cause of addiction, it is important to seek a therapist specialized in treating trauma, as well as, sex addiction. Commitment to therapy, group work and consistently applying your newfound tools are the best gifts you can give yourself in recovery. Let’s talk about what recovery looks like for you!

Let me help you in your journey to overcoming your sexual addiction and its many damaging consequences. Let’s talk! If you are not sure if you (or a loved one) struggle with sex addiction, feel free to reach out to me.