“There is no dignity when the human dimension is eliminated from the person. In short, the problem with pornography is not that it shows too much of the person, but that it shows far too little.” ~ Pope John Paul II
Every second…
- 28,258 users are watching pornography on the internet
- $3,075.64 is being spent on pornography on the internet and
- 372 people are typing the word “adult” into a search engine.
Every day…
- 37 pornographic videos are created in the United States
- 2.5 billion emails containing porn are sent or received
- 68 million search queries related to pornography (25% of total searches!) are generated, and
- 116,000 queries related to child pornography are received.
In addition to these frightening numbers, 40 million Americans regularly visit porn sites; 35% of all internet downloads are related to pornography; 34% of internet users have experienced unwanted exposure to pornographic content through ads, pop up ads, misdirected links or emails; and 33% of porn viewers are women. There is no doubt, pornography is everywhere. It is accessible just as it is addictive. So how can you protect yourself and your home from pornography? Since the web is accessible on so many devices nowadays, I want to go over some free and relatively easy ways to block pornography in your home.
DNS
The Domain Name System (DNS) is the Internet protocol that converts website names (domain names) to IP addresses. Filters at this level prevent the DNS resolution for the blocked sites, so their content never loads. This is the fastest way to block sites. Every device needs DNS to connect to the Internet, so this type of filtering works everywhere. All you have to do is open the device Settings, look for Network Settings or Wifi Settings and change the DNS servers (also called NameServers) to the IP address provided by your Internet Filter. Click here and refer to step one for specific instructions on how to open the settings, get to the appropriate filters, and block the known IP addresses. This article also has incredibly clear and helpful steps for setting up “clean” server providers on each of your devices. (It is important to note that if you are using your phone’s internet, versus wifi, you can bypass any filtering settings on DNS.)
PARENTAL CONTROL
When you make changes or set up filters on your device(s), you will need to set up parental control options that will disable your children from altering any of your settings or removing the filters you have put in place. This can be done on most TVs and devices like Roku, Amazon Fire Stick, and Chromecast. Each device might have a different name for Parental Control, but it is generally called Parental Control or Restrictions. On IOS (iPhone/iPad), you can do it by going to Settings-> General-> Restrictions and filtering the content you do not want to allow your children to see. On that page, if you scroll down to Allowed Content, I would recommend setting:
- Movies: PG-13
- TV Shows: TV-14
- Books: Restrict explicit content
- Apps: 12+
- Siri: Explicit language filtered
- Websites: Restrict adult content
ROUTER
Too many families miss the significant step of controlling their wireless router. You are responsible for every digital click that occurs on your WiFi network–every babysitter, every relative, every friend. Please make sure you have eliminated the bad stuff before they even decide to connect their device to your home’s network!
BROWSER HISTORY
Once you set up a filter to block pornographic content and enabled parental control, I recommend doing spot checks every day or every couple of days to see what online sites are being visited in your home. Older kids will learn to clear their browser history, but younger kids are not aware of that trick. Some devices (like Mac), even allow parents a way to prevent browser history from being deleted! Be aware of “incognito mode,” which is an internet browser setting that prevents browsing history from being stored. If you want to prevent this and have iOS, delete the app store to prevent more apps from being downloaded and ensure Safari is the only browsing app–Safari does not allow private browsing.
SPONTANEOUS FOLLOW-UP
Every few days, go through your children’s messages and social media apps like Instagram, Facebook, Whatsapp, etc. Look at the photos they are viewing and sharing, as well as with whom they are talking. Scan the photo library on your child’s cell phone as well; although younger kids may not be sexting yet, by the time they hit their tweens they may begin participating in this type of behavior. Be sure to look at your children’s deleted photos and messages because kids these days are smart!
USE YOUR WORDS
At the end of the day, parents ultimately want their children to make good choices on their own–without filters or blockers or any kind. No parent wants to feel like a bossy, overseeing nag. Having a solid foundation where mutual trust and communication are employed will be the best way to help your kids be open with you. If they know they can come to you with questions, concerns, or mistakes without you getting upset, they will be more likely to be honest and open. So start today. Talk with them. Be real with them. Tell them that you will always be there to help them in any way you can.
Other practical tips include paying for ad blockers that potentially have offensive material, limiting or disabling data on your child’s device, restricting the YouTube app on your/your child’s device, enabling the PIN and call your Cable provider to block porn pay-per-view, and being sure to report offensive material if you do see it in a browser search (this will help improve their filtering). Be sure to keep in mind that whatever filtering tools you choose to go with will need to be installed on every device your child may use to go online: game consoles, cell phones, tablets, Kindles, personal laptops, computers, etc.
One final tip: Lean on the many available resources to protect your home. Though the internet is full of pervasive material, there is also so much information on how to avoid and protect your family against it. You don’t have to do this alone; feel free to contact me with any questions, or to schedule a session. My door is always open!
Melissa Cluff is a licensed marriage and family therapist based in Lewisville, Texas, personally seeing clients in the North Dallas area.
Resources:
- Clean Browsing: “Definitive guide for blocking pornographic content”
- Cluff Counseling: “Addiction 101: The Analogy of the Driver’s Seat”
- Cluff Counseling: “Dear Partner of a Sex Addict, I See You. Keep Going!”
- Cluff Counseling: “How to Talk to Your Child About Porn, Part 1”
- Cluff Counseling: “How to Talk to Your Child About Porn, Part II”
- Cluff Counseling: “The Leading Cause of Addiction is Not What You Think”
- Cluff Counseling: “Men Are Not the Only Ones Addicted to Porn”
- Cluff Counseling: “The Most Forgotten of the Human Needs”
- Cluff Counseling: “The New Drug”
- Cluff Counseling: “The Not-So-Secret Recipe to a Successful Relationship”
- Cluff Counseling: “When the One You Love Most Hurts You”
- Cluff Counseling: “When the One You Love Most Hurts You: What to Do”
- Covenant Eyes
- Enough Is Enough
- Good Reads: “Pornography Quotes”
- Protect Young Eyes: “How to block porn on any device. For free.”
- Protect Young Minds: “Kids Hiding Their Internet History? What Parents CAN DO”
- Red Brick Church: “Top 5 Free Ways to Protect against Pornography”
- Tim Challies
- Web Root: “How to Block Pornography on Internet-Connected Devices”
- Web Root: “Internet Pornography by the Numbers; A Significant Threat to Society”
