“We get so frustrated and weary chasing the perfect holiday season that we never take time to enjoy the one right in front of us.” ~Joshua Becker
The holiday season can feel like pure chaos as the year draws to an end. There always seems to be a plethora of holiday parties to attend, gifts to give, holiday school activities to help with, etc etc. I am sure you feel like you are going from one thing to the next, with a ‘to do’ list that only seems to get longer…I know I do! You feel stressed, overwhelmed, and discouraged because you cannot keep up with the calendar. Then you blink and it is suddenly Christmas Eve and you are bone weary. You may be asking yourself when you can possibly pause and breathe in these special moments.
According to a survey published by Healthline in 2015, 62% of people say the holidays are “very” or “somewhat” stressful…and I cannot say I disagree with them! Participants highlighted the primary sources of holiday stress as finances (47%), healthy eating and exercise (16%), picking the “right” gift (15%), and scheduling (12%). The holidays pull on our time and resources, and it often feels like there is not enough to go around.
I have found that if I want to be present for this season, I can not forget myself. As you look at your calendars, gift and ‘to do’ lists, write yourself in. Do not forget YOURSELF. Put YOURSELF on your Christmas list! To help inspire you, here are a few gifts you can give yourself that can cultivate feelings of joy this holiday season:
Give yourself the gift of saying no. Do not be afraid to say no! Know your limits. Address what you already have on your plate before taking on something new. Understand that it is okay (and even necessary!) to say no sometimes. Definitely say yes to the events and things you know will bring you joy, but say no to obligations you know will cause you stress, heartache and/or disappointment. Christmas is not the time to be a yes man (or woman)!
Give yourself the gift of time. Simplify. Slow down. Do not overschedule yourself. See what extras you can trim from your schedule. When you find yourself in an enjoyable moment, relish it. Whether it is a hot shower, a warm mug of cocoa, or that heated steering wheel, soak in the moment and try not to rush from one thing to the next all the time. Schedule the things you DO want to do well in advance and protect that time so you don’t feel overwhelmed and can be present in the moment for your favorite Christmas traditions.
Give yourself the gift of a merrier heart and a little extra love. What is one thing you really wish you could feel more or less of? Maybe you wish you could feel happier and lighter in your heart. Maybe you wish you could feel less pain, resentment, anger, remorse, shame, regret, guilt, frustration, etc. for things from the past. Whatever it may be, give yourself the gift of a merrier heart. Let go of extra stuff that you may be carrying. Try to love yourself, to recognize your strengths and positive qualities. Try to see yourself as God and others see you. Give yourself some grace, kindness and compassion. Celebrate the good in you and focus on that! I promise it will make your heart feel lighter, happier, and more merry this holiday season!
The act of giving gets so much attention during the holidays it can be easy to forget to give back to yourself. Give yourself permission to say no to the busyness and expectation of others. Give yourself the gift of time–whether that is simplifying your schedule, or calendaring the things that are most important to you. And lastly, give yourself the gift of a merrier heart. Start putting yourself on your Christmas list this year and every year!
…And enjoy it. I promise it will help you feel joy. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!
Xo, Melissa
Melissa Cluff is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist based in North Texas, providing face-to-face and telehealth therapy options to clients in Texas.
References:
- Cluff Counseling: The Magic of Saying No
- Healthline: 6 Tips for Managing Holiday Stress
- Raising Simple: 12 Images to Inspire Simplicity in Your Holiday Season
- Simplish: 75 Quotes for A Fresh Perspective on Holiday Stress
